The Everlasting and Eternal One
My Friend is Dying of Cancer
From my earliest memory, I could feel the Divine. I say with 100%, such a sensation had nothing to do with me. I was extremely selfish, malignant, and detached from everyone throughout my life, so there was no room for anything else. Even in Christianity, there was no light; yet, I can say without equivocation whatsoever, the Divine was there. In the last few years, it has manifested as a huge part of my reality. I no longer fear evil, death, decay, and suffering. In fact, I first feel mercy in all of these and embrace them. Such a feeling, for me, validates the justice of the Divine. Therefore, given He lives in me, my question is the following: what can I do with it? In other words, I KNOW with ABSOLUTE certainty this light is NOT for me. So it is for others.
Because as I learned, I am the only creation, I am reflecting Divine light back to it. Any problems I see in others or “externally” are mine. That is, when someone dies, suffers, loves, hurts, or feels pain, I am dying, suffering, loving, hurting, and feeling pain. This is because we are all connected to one program. We are only artificially separated by virtue of our ego (“Satan”) whose caginess prevents us from experiencing the truth, unless we learn to work against it and see His perfection.
Yet, my anguish is in not being able to see Divine perfection in those parts of me dying. My friend is dying now and despite all I express to save the physical, I fear I cannot save his body although I know, but only in a very foreign place, it is all an illusion (Dharma according to Buddism). Yet, I want to save his body. How much power do I really have if I feel the Divine at all times? According to Christian writings, Yeshua was able by virtue of his connection to the Divine to manifest truth and provide for healing. I know this is a healing leading to spiritual correction (let us love without condition), but it is said he saved the body. But, perhaps, this is only the allegory. The truth of reality is embodied as follows:
- Peshat (פְּשָׁט) — “surface” (“straight”) or the literal (direct) meaning.[7]
- Remez (רֶמֶז) — “hints” or the deep (allegoric: hidden or symbolic) meaning beyond just the literal sense. In the version of the New Zohar, Re’iah.
- Derash (דְּרַשׁ) — from Hebrew darash: “inquire” (“seek”) — the comparative (midrashic) meaning, as given through similar occurrences.
- Sod (סוֹד) — “secret” (“mystery”) or the esoteric/mystical meaning, as given through inspiration or revelation.
The first layer, Peshat, is the simplistic or what we all see, in this case, my friend’s body dying. However, to get to Sod, the truth, requires a leap of faith, quite literally, which is impossible without the help of the Divine. For me to ask the Divine to overcome this death according to this exegesis (Pardes (פרד”ס) is a theory of exegesis (interpretation of reality), sometimes rendered PaRDeS, or “orchard” literally, but is a Hebrew acronym) is too difficult; deep sadness overcomes me because I know I am ruled by the ego and the dharmistic construct has been a deeply ingrained understanding since I was born and well befor that spanning to Adam.
All I can do is surrender as I do with all of my life. For instance, I know I have no control of my body, the weather, planetary motion, interpersonal hatred, and so on. All I can do is make my plea (prayer) to the Divine for peace. In my agony, may he extend an olive branch to my Friend, whether he lives or dies, שהשם, מעל כל שם אחר, יתפאר, ישתבח, ויבטח בו עכשיו ולתמיד.
Amen
